WE SHIP INTERNATIONALLY FREE SHIPPING FOR ORDERS OVER 59€. EXPRESS DELIVERY AVALABLE EASY RETURNS.

With pearls against domestic violence

How can we help women that know all about domestic violence from personal experience? We decided to go right to the source - travel to the Estonian city of Pärnu and speak to survivors at Pärnu Women’s Support Center.

We returned with the knowledge that, for starters, there are two things we can do to help - talk and buy pearls. What do we mean, you wonder. How come, you wonder? Keep reading.

 

We expected to find bleak-looking rooms and sad women but, instead, walked into an inviting apartment with a golden toilet and a bunch of giggling ladies. Survivors, they call themselves because they do not want to be victims as this word fuels victim mentality. The ladies tell us with a grin on their face that the rules at the Support Center are simple – do not drink, do not cry, do not smoke, and cultivate cactuses.

But where are the sad stories? Margo Orupõld, the Head of the Support Center, reveals the reasoning for why the expected dark hole of depression was not there - the principle of not getting stuck in painful narratives. The focus must be on solutions. And there are always solutions, even if getting to them takes three difficult years and navigation through the Marathon of Power of 42 different offices.

Fine, let’s focus on solutions - that is what we came here for. Without further ado - how can we help?

Talking helps the most

Margo says the women are often upset with her: “Such a stupid person, doesn’t get me at all. Talks about stuff that cannot be done. Won’t cry with me at all.” But Margo does not cry; instead, she tries to get women to admit to the uncomfortable and inconvenient – only the woman herself can disrupt the circle of violence.

The first step in disrupting the circle of violence is admitting to it. Talking. One of the survivors says: “It’s really difficult to talk. To get that going, I would first have to admit to myself that something is wrong, that I made a mistake. Me who in my 20s was convinced I would never be in a violent relationship. But then it happens and you start embellishing the truth for yourself. Yet, lying to yourself is where it all starts.”

Another survivor affirms: “Yes, it’s the shame that kept me from telling others. How do I go and complain, how do I explain what’s really going on behind our perfect facade?”

A third one adds: “People tend not to talk about difficult things. Whoever suffers, pulls away, causing others around them to pull away as well.” Yet, talking is important because, among other things, it helps to understand what is “normal” in a relationship.

The women say that when, with the help of the Support Center, they realized they MUST talk, they MUST share because that’s how you build a super important safety network for yourself, and finally opened up... stories involving their girlfriends as well flooded out, each more complex than the other.

Margo says it upsets her that the public oftentimes is only interested in the stories of violence; however, it is much more important to talk about what happens to women when it’s finally “independence day” - the day they leave home. To that, one of the women says, it was only recently that she came to certain life changing realizations such as “You can count on the police” and “A shelter is not a horrible place”. Another lady contributes: “I was panically afraid of how I would cope if I left home. But I am coping.”

It is also exceedingly important to share stories about how coping is possible and how there are dedicated people that know how to help. “I have a very simple and practical life hack for women in Estonia,” says a small and delicate, yet radiantly optimistic survivor. “If you don’t know what to do and you feel there’s no way out, log into Facebook, find Margo Orupõld, and write to her. She will help you figure out the ifs, the hows, and the what’s nexts.”

Margo summarizes: “We must talk about things. We must be able to talk about domestic violence in a completely open manner so that it would no longer be a taboo topic. So that the listener as well would not shut down when someone gathers up their courage and tells them about their burden. So that the listener would not go quiet or run away and would, rather, know how to react appropriately: “I see; have you already gotten help?””

“To me, all of the survivors that tell their stories are influencers that are changing the world with their actions and statements. They are infinitely more important as influencers than those advertising random goods.”

Alright, we’ll help get the talk started; we’ll lend a hand in influencing. This blog post here is the first of its kind.

More important than donating old things is financial support

But is there anything else; are there more ways to help? Things, for example? “Yes, indeed, sometimes even bedding and pots help,” the women reply. However, Margo adds: “We do not want to become a garbage dump where people bring things they no longer need. For that reason, we use well established networks to obtain specific items. Sometimes we just need money that can be given to the women to get groceries. So targeted donations would certainly come in handy, money transfers with specific instructions such as For groceries or For leisure activities.”

Those wishing to make a financial contribution can make a transfer to Pärnu Women’s Support Center (MTÜ Pärnu Naiste Tugikeskus), account No. EE122200221047053080.


You can also support the Women’s Support Center buy purchasing our Pearl Power jewelry

Okay, we got it, in addition to talking, financial support is required. Let us provide that as well but, fellow women, let’s do it together.

Alright, here it is: 3% of the sales revenue from our Pearl Power pearl collection goes to support Pärnu Women’s Support Center in Estonia.

So, sisters and sympathizers, join in, combine what’s pleasurable (buying pearls) with what’s important (supporting someone in need), and let us together help those to whom life has not shown its kindest side!

And let’s talk. Talk. Again - let’s talk. It’s not that complicated, is it?

More Wildwoman stories

  1. Newer post Silver or gold? Both!

    Silver or gold? Both!

    If you keep up with the latest trends, you surely know that old, one might even say peculiar, rules are no longer adhered to on the fashion scene. Rules are there to be broken and style is to be experimented with.

    Wearing a combination of cold and silver has for a number of years now been a sign of outstanding sense of style and not a lapse in good taste. Whether you love to wear gold or prefer silver, our most heartfelt recommendation is this - experiment and combine!

    Read more from the blog
  2. You just read this With pearls against domestic violence

    With pearls against domestic violence

    How can we help women that know all about domestic violence from personal experience? We decided to go right to the source - travel to the Estonian city of Pärnu and speak to survivors at Pärnu Women’s Support Center.

    We returned with the knowledge that, for starters, there are two things we can do to help - talk and buy pearls. What do we mean, you wonder. How come, you wonder? Keep reading.

  3. Older post AWESOME WOMEN. KRISTIINA ALLIKSAAR

    AWESOME WOMEN. KRISTIINA ALLIKSAAR

    Life roles: spectacular uniter of creativity and rationality that successfully brings theaters out of thick and thin, head of Vanemuine theater with 400 employees, Board Member of the Estonian Association of Performing Arts Institutions, student acquiring her second Master’s degree, proud aunt to a four-year-old niece, loyal friend

    Read more from the blog
Show all posts in the Wildwoman blog